The Journey

I think so much of my little boy, waiting for me on the other side of the earth.  I'm so anxious for him to be home here with us.  But is this his home?  Yes, it will be, one day it will be.  But what journey for him to be here, at home - his home? 

I know my journey.  Thinking again of adoption, looking at those children, those beautiful children, waiting, waiting for families. 

Then just for the fun of it researching agencies.  No, I can't adopt again - I'm just thinking about it.  How could I?  One big reality of adoption is - it does cost a lot of money.  It does, that's reality.  Just looking, looking at the beautiful children, waiting. 

Oh, what about that old retirement fund from my old job that I was going to one day add to my current retirement fund.  One day I'll do that.  Ok, today I'll do it - I have the paperwork, I just need to get it filled out.  But never getting it transferred.  I could use that.  It's just the amount I need for an adoption from China.  Is that a sign? But I can't adopt from China - singles can't adopt from there any more.  Ok, I'll adopt from another country, but I don't have enough money.  Looking, looking at those beautiful children, waiting, waiting for a family. 

Faith.  It'll come, the money will come.  Just do it.  Start the process.  Looking and seeing those beautiful children waiting.

What!?  China!  China is opening up to singles again!  Looking, looking at those beautiful children.  That's him!  He's my boy!  So it's off to the paper race! Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up and wait! Oh, the agony of waiting.  How can I wait for him to be home and in my arms, my little boy.  My precious little boy.  My journey.

But his journey.  My little boy's journey. His is a whole different journey. 

So snug and warm in his mother's womb his journey begins. For nine months he's carried, so safe, snug and warm.  Then his birth day. Of course we don't know the circumstances of his birth and we likely never will.  But we can safely I think, surmise a bit.  Oh, the joy of the birth of a boy, a boy needed by his parents in their old age to care for them.  Then the agony of knowing that this boy, this beautiful baby boy born in this country, will not be able to care for himself, much less his parents in their old age, without proper medical care.  This is his journey.

This beautiful country which has so many beautiful people, people who do love their children, but don't have the financial means to care for a child born to them with severe medical needs. And of course I don't 'know' this either, but I have a mother's heart and I can't fathom the agony the first mother of this beautiful baby boy went through knowing that she cannot keep him and then someone making that agony final.  That all is part of his journey. The pain and grief of that first loss, the loss of his first mother, first family.  And it is a grief that he will always have with him.  Maybe not always outwardly showing, but there nonetheless.  I know that.  That, that loss is part of his journey. 

Then losing another family, a foster family.  And eventually losing another family, his orphanage family.  These are all losses for him and with this mother's heart I grieve for him already. I know that grief, I've felt it before. It breaks my heart, the grief of those little hearts and in those beautiful eyes as once again his family walks away from him and this time leaves him with someone who looks like no-one he has ever seen before and who smells funny too.  This is part of his journey.

Then he smiles, tentatively, and starts to warm up to us.  We get to know each other a bit more each day.  This beautiful boy, learning who we are, these strange people who he doesn't know yet, but will be his forever family.  This is part of his journey. 

Is this my new home?  Here in this hotel with these people?  No, we move on and he faces another loss, the loss of his province, where he's been since he was born.  His place, what he was named for.  This is part of his journey. 

We arrive at another place and get settled in and we continue to get to know each other a bit more each day. We play and we shop and we enjoy this beautiful place.  Is this my home?  Is this where I will be forever?  No, yet again we take him away.  This time he loses his country.  His country of birth. The country where everyone except his new mother looks like him.  This is part of his journey.

But finally we arrive, we're home.  We're home!  We're finally home! This is his journey home.

Yes, I think of him a lot - my little boy, waiting for me on the other side of the earth.  And I think of the journey he will make to come home.

Oh, Boy!

Here's another email from the wonderful angel lady.  Wow!  Am I ready for a boy?  Yes, I am.  I can't wait til he's here. 

"Happy birthday and hope your travel comes soon...yes we certainly know what it means...I also have a daughter 9 yrs from Hubei province. Your son walked well and was very mobile...in fact he was interested in everything going on and had that very boy energy and curiousity which we have learnt about in the last few years...Feel free to use the photos in any way you wish..I am am amazed that I actually took so many photos of him - he ended up being in so many, it does give you an indication as to how well he moved about!!

best wishes for speedy travel.."

Here's a couple of pictures of him going after the food.

Happy Birthday Mama!

What a wonderful birthday I had.  I got to celebrate it over the weekend and right on into my day.  We did all kinds of fun family kinds of things on Sunday.  We went to a huge furniture store and wandered around for a couple of hours looking for a rocker/recliner for this mama and bunkbeds for the girls. 

Then we went to the beach.  I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time there this summer.  Summer is busy at work, and with a big brother here who wants to do things with mom!

Then in the evening we all went to eat at Space Aliens.  The food was awesome and the kids had a blast. 

I got some beautiful bracelets from the girls.  They each made me one.  Meikiina also bought me one and she spent her own money to buy it.  What special and precious girls I have.

I also got another wonderful present today.  I got an email from a lady from Australia that has been to Willem's orphanage in the last few weeks.  She got pictures of Willem and emailed me today telling me that it is my baby boy in the pictures!

Here are some excerpts from her emails. 

"Yes Kristen, he was definitely there , I remember the club feet. He was definitely in the room upstairs ( where they would not allow us to take any pictures) and I am fairly certain he was also downstairs with the others before eating watermelon. He was quite curious and followed us and interested in what we were doing. He seemed very alert and attentive to what was going on. He also made sure he had some watermelon!! I will scroll through my photos on my other computer and get back to you. It may not be until this evening though. His face is very familiar and he is lovely - a beautiful looking boy...yes he looked about 2.5 yrs..."

Another email...

"...the faces are the same and if you look at photo 3553 you can see his feet turned under the table. We do remember him being downstairs eating the watermelon ... There are no other children in the SWI in that age group. Happy Happy birthday to you and hope you get to be with him soon. He is a lovely little boy and was certainly into the watermelon and whatever was going on. He is in a fair few of the photos which is quite a coincidence really! I dont have any others of him which I havent posted already posted.

Happy happy birthday to you... I remember him walking up to me so he is quite mobile and as you can see it certainly didnt stop him getting around the table or into the food! "

And here he is.  Not a super good quality.  The wonderful lady sounds very busy with work, but maybe I will see if she will email me the originals so that I can have a better quality photo.  I am very happy tho, to have this.  I also got others but will just post this one for now. (Edited post to add original picture from angel woman.)

Way Across Country to Washington State

And now that lone document is winging its way all the way across the country to Washington state.  It is scheduled for arrival at CHI on Monday 8/22!

It's Off to Washington DC

My last document is off to Washington DC.  It's scheduled to be at the courier's house on Monday the 15th.  First (probably not til Tuesday) it goes to the State Department and they wait for it there while it's being authenticated.  Then if it's early enough they bring it to the Chinese Embassy the same day.  I did pay the extra fee for the overnight turnaround at the Embassy. 

It's getting closer!

I Got It! I Got It!

I got the corrected I-800A approval today!  And I got it sealed by the Secretary of State!  I drove down to St. Paul and they did the seal for me as I waited. 

It's off in the mail tomorrow to Washington DC for authentication by the State Department and the Chinese Embassy.

It should for sure be at my agency by the end of next week and they have all the rest of my documents ready to go.  They just have to translate this one and they can send them off to China! 

So will I be DTC by my birthday?  What a gift that would be.  :)

I'm coming baby boy!

Party at the Park

Miss Mei wanted to have a party at the park for her birthday and invite her cousins and aunts and uncles ~ so we did.  It was so SO HOT that day that I told the girls to go in swimsuits and they could play in the water while we were there.  Plus I figured it would just be a bit cooler with swimsuits on.  And tho it was so hot I think we all had a good time.   

Happy Birthday to my big girl!

 Some of the guests in attendance ~

There was lunch in the park...

kick back after the lunch

too tired for lunch

ladies after lunch

and there was playing after lunch

and more playing after lunch

and this one's so cute I wanna just eat her for lunch

and this one for dessert

Approval Update

Well, I called my super sweet US CIS case manager down in TX this morning. I started calling at 8:00 on the dot and finally got her at 8:15.  She hadn't even booted up her computer yet.  I told her the story and she pulled up my case and looked.  First she jokingly said, "What's the big deal? It's only a year different."  She then promptly corrected it and told me that it will be in the mail today USPS. She even pdf'd me a copy via email after I begged her. 

Last night I had emailed my agency and verified that I would need to have it corrected.  This morning I emailed the pdf to my agency and Heidi told me, "Look at you girl!  You moved the FEDERAL government - in one day!"

I don't actually have to have the I-797 document state sealed.  What is sealed by the state is a notarized paper stating that the I-797 is a true original.  So...tomorrow I believe I will drive to St. Paul and have them state seal that notarized document.  Then when the I-797 approval comes I can turn around and have it in the mail to Washington DC right away.  I also believe I will pay the extra $20 and have the 1 day turnaround at the Chinese consulate.

I hardly dare to say this, but I'm starting to believe I will be DTC in August!

I-800A Approval?

Well, the day finally came.  Can you hear my excitement? I got my long awaited I-800A approval and verified my name and address, birthdate etc.  It all looked good.  I scanned it to my agency and then I noticed that the approval date was 2012 instead of 2011.  I'm sure I will have to wait for a new approval. 

I do have an officer assigned to me that I called today to find out where in the process I was.  I will call her again tomorrow and find out if it needs to be reissued.  From fingerprints to getting this was very fast so hopefully if it does need to be reissued, (which I'm afraid it will have to be) it'll be quick.  I'm so tired of waiting.

On another note we did buy Willem his first pair of pajamas.  Well you know, his first pair of pajamas from us.

Willem's 1st PJs

Happy Birthday (a bit late)

Well I'm a bit late, but Happy Birthday to you my sweet 10-year old!  I can hardly believe you're 10!  Ten?! Ten years old! 

We did not have a party right on your birthday.  You wanted to invite your cousins and aunts and uncles to a party at a park.  It worked to have a party the weekend after your birthday so that is what we did.

But you did open some presents at home on your birthday. 

Jia says, "Do you want my help?" 

Opening cards from Grandpa Jack and Uncle Irv and Auntie Jen.

Present from family.  It looks like a ...!

Is it really a ...?

Yes, it is!

A phone! :) Thank you!

 

This is what you do...

Well, I guess if they don't want my help I'll just dream about chasing bunnies.

Figuring it all out.

Biometrics - Check

Well, today I finally had my biometrics appointment and had my fingerprints done one last time. 

Here's hoping for a speedy approval from  US CIS so that I can get that document authenticated and get my dossier sent off to China!

Dude!

Willem got his very first shirt this weekend.  Well, his very first very own shirt from us.   The girls and I had kind of a girls Friday evening and Saturday.  We went shopping and all the girls (me too!) got new clothes and I just had to get something for Willem too.  We just couldn't resist this shirt.

Thinkin' of you little guy and this mama can't wait to come get you!

Finally ~ Fingerprint Appointment!

I've been so bummed since the last post. I just haven't had the heart to blog.  I thought I had all the paperwork I needed. I sent it all off various places to be authenticated and certified and authenticated again.  After I sent it I started having this feeling in the back of my mind that something wasn't right so I started checking.  Yes, I still need one more set of fingerprints before I send the paperwork off to China.  The I-797C that I had was only notice that US CIS had received my paperwork and that they would be letting me know of a fingerprint appointment in the future.  I've done this before, twice!  You'd think I'd remember what I need to do!

So today, finally, I received a notice in the mail!  I have a fingerprint appointment.  It's not til August 3rd, but at least I have the appointment.  Yaaayyy! 

Oh, I just want to come get you now, my sweet boy.

They're off!

 

I got my documents back from the Secretary of State on Friday.  It was very exciting to open the package and see 9 sets of documents, each with a shiny gold seal and signed by the Secretary of State of our great state.

I worked quite late on Friday so didn't really have time to do much more than look at the documents.  I would have liked to get them in the mail and on to the next destination on Saturday morning but I had to copy every page of all the sets of documents.  The homestudy was many pages and I did the copying at home so it was not so quick but I got that done on Saturday.  I also had to write checks, get a money order, etc. and did not want to rush through it too quickly and make a mistake. 

I actually am having a courier do the next two steps so I mailed all the paperwork to her.  She will check all the documents when they arrive to make sure everything is in order.  She then brings them to the State Department for another authentication and waits while they are doing it.  As soon as that's finished she takes them to the Chinese Embassy and drops them off.  They will give her a date to come pick them up that is 4-5 days later.  When she picks them up she will do another check to make sure all documents were authenticated properly.  Then the documents are forwarded on to my agency who then sends them off to China!

Wow!  I can hardly believe my dossier paperwork is out of my hands!  I would think that within about 2 weeks I should have a DTC (Dossier to China) date.

Passport & SOS

I worked a really long day at work today, but had a wonderful surprise when I got home. 

My passport came today.  That was fast!  I mailed it off on May 16th and got it back on May 26th ~ 10 days!  I'm really impressed.

Also today ~ got my packet of very important papers into the mail to the Secretary of State.  They will authenticate the notarizations (make sure the notaries are authentic) and send them back to me.  My goal was to get the papers in the mail to SOS before we leave for camping.  Did t!

Any guesses on how long it will take to get them back?

I-797 ~ Yes!

I cannot believe it!  Today I received the long worked towards I-797!  It only took 11 days from the time the I-800A was mailed. Even after I got the email notice I still wasn't expecting it until 5/30.

The next step - I need to send all these very important papers that I've worked so hard to accumulate, to the state to be certified.  This step is just the state saying that the notarizations are indeed done by a certified notary. Hopefully I can have them mailed off to the state this week.  I should be able to do that. 

Right now I'm working with CHI to make sure the documents are all in order and correct.

USCIS Acceptance Confirmation

Yay!!!! Drum roll Please!! 

I found out that the I-797 is the ultimate document I'm waiting for and I got the  email below telling me that it's coming!  Yes!!!  So by May 29th I should have it. Come on passport-I need you too!  I have already started making sure I have all the rest of the original documents I will need in my dossier so when I get these 2 magical docs I can send them all off to CHI to be authenticated and certified and then sent off to China!

To: KKH
Sent: Thursday, May 19, 2011 12:41 AM
Subject: USCIS Acceptance Confirmation

Dear Applicant/Petitioner:

Your USCIS application/petition has been received and routed to the National Benefit Center for processing. Within 7 - 10 days by standard mail you will receive your official Receipt Notice (Form I-797) with your Receipt Number SIMxxx. If you have any questions please contact the Hague Unit at xxx.
 

Mama's coming little guy. Mama's coming.

Passport Renewal Application

Ok - I had to do my passport and quickly because like Heidi from CHI told me, "You go get that passport girl, you are going to China!"

Today I got passport pictures taken at work.  We can have them done at work for free.  They even printed off some extra so that when it's time to get my visa I don't have to have pictures taken again.. 

I then ran to the post office on a late lunch from work to overnight my passport renewal application. I sent a nice letter along with it explaining that I am adopting a special needs child from China and asking if they could expedite my passport.  Well, of course I had to pay a fee too for expediting it, but thought maybe, just maybe if I sent a letter along too that they would expedite it a little bit quicker. Hey, it doesn't hurt to try, right? It says for an expedited passport it should take 2-3 weeks. I'm hoping that it doesn't take longer than that. 

So it's a wait now.  Which will I get first - the I-797 or the passport?  Wouldn't it be awesome if they both came on the same day?  These are my last 2 items I need to be able to certify and authenticate my documents and send them off to CHI to send to China!

Oh, and a fun little thing happened when I was at the post office.  I was intent on filling out the address on my overnight envelope and I heard someone say, "Well, Hi Kristin!"  And I look up to see the most wonderful lady that recently retired from managing the store in my place of work.  She is the sweetest person and I really miss seeing her in the store and chatting with her.  So I got to chat with her for a few minutes before I went back to work.  It just made my afternoon to see her.

Another Step ~ I-800A

Today I received my official original notarized homestudies in the mail from IAS.  Included in the packet was a copy of the front of the envelope showing that they had mailed my I-800A form to US CIS.  Now I will be waiting for my I-797 (Notice of Action) to arrive from US CIS.  I believe this is actually the document I am waiting for to include in my dossier.  This is also the document telling me that I can go be fingerprinted again. 

This evening I remembered that I also need to include a copy of my passport with my dossier and my passport has expired.  So I am going to get that in overnight mail on Monday to the passport office.  I will pay the extra fee to have it expedited.  It still takes 2-3 weeks to  process even if I expedite it, but it is a bit quicker.  I sure hope I don't have to wait on my dossier because of that. 

Happy Mother's Day

My Mother's Day in cards. I don't know what else to say. I am so Blessed to be called Mama by such wonderful little beings as these precious ones. 

(They did give me permission to post these)

AW Prints

I got an email today telling me that my Adam Walsh finger prints cleared today.  That means that the home study can be officially finished.  Yaaayyy!

Edited 5/6/11
The day after I posted the above, I got an email from IAS stating, "I'm sorry you misunderstood.  It was not the result of the AW prints we received, but the 2 learning certificates you emailed to us."  I had emailed them 2 certificates of learning a week or so before, and they were letting me know that they had received them.  The funny thing is I had emailed them letting them know that I had mailed my I-800A form to them along with a fee that was due and asked about the AW prints and they responded telling me they received them.  I assumed they meant the prints.

 Oh well, such is the road to adoption.

BUT...Now I can officially and truly say, "My AW Prints have cleared!!  I received an email today telling me...
GOOD NEWS
The Adam Walsh notice just popped up on our screen today.
No findings on May 4, 2011

Yay - It sure is good to know I'm not a criminal!  Well, that and now they can officially finish the homestudy.  :)

I-800A Petition

Yesterday I mailed off my I-800A (Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country) form to IAS along with the fee.  My homestudy is mostly done and is at CHI being checked.  We are just waiting to hear back on my Adam Walsh fingerprints. These fingerprints must be run against the National Criminal Information Database (NCID).  My prints rejected the first time and when I went back to be printed again, the officer told me I must be a hard worker :) as I have lots of cracks in my finger tips.  I was informed this week that they rejected again and that after being rejected twice they will do a manual check on my criminal background.  I'm not sure how long that takes.

After we receive approval on my Adam Walsh fingerprints, IAS can officially finish my homestudy.  When that is done they can mail off my I-800A form to USCIS along with the approved homestudy and other supporting documents.  Then we wait to receive the I-797 (Notice of Action).  This is a document informing me of a time and place to go and have one more set of fingerprints taken (FBI). After this sent of fingerprints we wait for approval from USCIS and when we receive that we finally have all the documents we need for our dossier.  When we have all the documents together we can certify and authenticate them all and off they go to CHI to send to China. 

We are still several months I'm guessing before we are at the point that the dossier can be sent of to China, but chugging along slowly.

A Name For Our Little Guy

We have decided on a name for our little guy. We will name him Willem Ray Qiang.

Willem rhymes with kill em' (sorry - couldn't think of anything else rhyming:) and means 'strong-willed warrior'.

Ray - of course after Grandpa Ray. :)

Qiang (pronounced like she-ong) was named by orphanage officials with hope that he can have a firm will, strong body, and grow up bravely.

When I had a bit of time to breath after the rush of receiving his referral I looked at names real quick one evening and Willem just jumped out at me.  I liked the name and he just looked like a Willem to me.  I thought, "Well, I can't just name him that quick."  So I looked at name lists for hours and nothing else seemed to fit.  Oh, I liked other names, but he just didn't look like any of them.

Now when I type them here, Willem and Qiang just go together.  Naming Qiang they hoped he would have a firm will (strong-willed), strong body, and grow up bravely (warrior).  This just fits with name of Willem, meaning strong-willed warrior.

And so, we have a brother/son named Willem Ray Qiang!

How Could You Be 7!

Happy Birthday baby Bee!

How could you be 7 already!

Wasn't I just in China meeting you?

Just what I wanted - a Panda Pillow Pet.

Ready for bed after a day of parties.

Digital Camera Drawing

Please click on this link to visit a blog of a family working towards bringing home a beautiful son from China.  Check out their drawing for this digital camera.

We have a Son and Brother!

I am so proud, pleased, and excited to introduce you to our son and brother - Huai Qiang!

Today I was shocked to arrive at work and see this email.

From: Stefani
Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2011 9:26 PM
Subject: Fwd: Hillukka family has PA~!~~

We can't be more thrilled. Kristin, you have a officially been issued your PA and you can breathe easier. What a wonderful, wonderful day!
Stefani
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Hillukka family has PA~!~~
Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2011 19:18:37 -0700
To: Stefani
Information System->Special Nedd MIS->Application->Application Status Review

通 知
国 际儿童之家收养组织:
你 们递交的Kristin xxxx收养江苏(省、市、自治区)淮安市社会福利院儿童淮强的申请已收到，经过对该家庭的基本情况及其为该儿童制定的医疗康复及抚育计划的审 核，中国收养中心同意在该申请文件到达（截止日期2011年10月01 日，含当日）后，按照收养特殊需要儿童的程序处理，特此告知。

中 国收养中心

2011 年03月31日

March 31,2011
CHILDREN'S HOUSE INTERNATIONAL:
The application of Kristin xxx for adoption of HUAI QIANG from Huaian Social Welfare Institute, Jiangsu Welfare Institute of Jiangsu province that you submitted was received. It is hereby advised that with a review of the basic family situation and the Rehabilitation and Nurture Plan for the Child made by the family, the China Centre of Adoption Affairs agrees to handle and process the case as an adoption of a special-need child after the application file arrives (deadline October 01,2011, that day inclusive).

China Centre of Adoption Affairs

Wow! I have received PA (pre-approval)! I was told to expect to wait at least 8 days and I received it in 3 days! I think Huai Qiang wants to come home.
What does this mean? It means that the application along with all the documents we worked so hard on were received by China. China reviewed them and has seen us to be a fit family to bring this precious child home.

My goodness, but it's been a whirlwind of activity since Thursday evening.
If you continue reading you will see my blogging behind the scenes until I could post this publically - the exciting day of being able to introduce my son!

*********************

3/24/2011 (Thursday)
On Monday evening China released some new files for children with special needs. Stefani had asked me if I want her to watch for any files that come through matching the needs that I had specified. I said yes, so she watched as they came in and saw several files that she thought I might be interested in. There was one little boy in particular that she thought I might be interested in, with CHD and clubbed feet. She said she just got a glimpse of his file and someone locked him. She told me that when they are locked the family has 72 hours to get the paperwork done (that I've talked about in a prior post) and the application submitted to China or the file unlocks, giving someone else a chance at the file.
Today Stefani asked me if I want her to watch for this file and should she lock it if she saw it. Well I had a file of another adorable little boy that I was reviewing at the International Adoption Clinic (IAC) and was waiting to hear back on him and didn't want to lock the new file until I heard back.

I emailed the IAC and told them the dilemma and they said there are 6 families ahead of me to have files reviewed and I wouldn't hear anything back til Friday evening at the earliest. I was torn. If I lock the file this evening that may come, then he's locked to me for 72 hours and I can't lock this one I have in review if I get a good optimistic review from IAC. If the file unlocks that we are waiting for and we don't lock it right away, someone else most likely will lock it and I lose him. We emailed back and forth all day - CHI and I. What to do!?

At 6:40 pm I heard back from the IAC and they did a mini review of the other little guy because they knew I was waiting for a new file to open! I won't go into detail, but they told me that they were very concerned with his long term outcome in life. Sadly I told CHI that I feel he is not a good match for me.

At 7:15 pm Stefani and I decided that she would lock the other file if she sees it.

At 8:14 pm I received the following email.

From: Stefani
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 10:14 PM
Subject: LOCKED Haui Qiang M dob 2 10 09 resolved PDA equinovarus

We were able to get the little boy we wished would come back! His report describes him as SO VERY SWEET and loving, but also shy. He is handsome boy and his file is now locked for Kristin. We have until 8 pm MST on Sunday 3/27 to submit the official application.

Please review and let us know how you are feeling. The great news is that the PDA resolved on its own without surgery! He is also waiting for surgery on his feet.

And he is wearing the very same sweater that my Ammon came home in. Thus he has a very special tug at my heart.

Stefani

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Haui Qiang M dob 2 10 09 resolved PDA equinovarus
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2011 20:09:15 -0700

Here is some chatter that went back and forth after that.

From: Heidi
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 10:21 PM
Subject: RE: LOCKED Haui Qiang M dob 2 10 09 resolved PDA equinovarus

Good work Stefani...

Kirstin it looks like you've got more than a wedding to attend to this weekend.  Please let us know what your thoughts are- deep breath we're here if you need us!

Heidi
China International Specialist
*********************************
From: Kristin
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 10:25 PM
Subject: Re: LOCKED Haui Qiang M dob 2 10 09 resolved PDA equinovarus
Oh, my! :)
*********************************
On 3/24/2011 9:55 PM, 'kh' wrote:
Thank you Stefani! I read through his file quick. I am going to send it off to the IAC and read some more, and of course gaze at the pictures:) He is handsome!
*********************************
From: Stefani
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 11:01 PM
Subject: Re: LOCKED Haui Qiang M dob 2 10 09 resolved PDA equinovarus

What a weekend you have coming! He is so very handsome and seems like a little teddy bear. I love how he shares his food because that is something that is usually in short supply. But then, he doesn't look like he has lacked much in food. He's looking pretty robust!

I sent his file to the IAC at 11:14 pm that evening to be reviewed and told them I didn't need it til Sunday afternoon.

And then I sat and studied and read through his file and gazed at his pictures.

3/25/2011 (Friday)
This morning I had to go to a root canal specialist as I had an abscessed tooth. What a pain! We left up north a bit after noon to make it to the rehearsal for Dawn's wedding.

At 2:20 I heard from IAC the following:

From: IAC
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2011 2:20 PM
Subject: Latest Referral

Hi Kristin,

I’ve spoken with Dr. Kang re: your recent referral. Unfortunately, the referral is somewhat complicated. As you know, we are closed on the weekend so the earliest response will be next week. We would be very grateful and accepting of any future donation for your recent referrals. I wish I could give you better news at this point in time.
Best as always,
Kristi
International Adoption Clinic
University of Minnesota

Great! Yes, I understand that they are sooo busy with such important work, but right at this moment that doesn't make me feel a whole lot better. I emailed back to see if they could tell me whether it was just his feet that were complicated or if it was something else. I felt like if it was just his feet it was ok, but if it was something else I wasn't so sure. I didn't hear back from them. So I email Stefani and tell her this. She asked me the same thing, if it was more than his feet.

By this time it was rehearsal time so off we went to rehearsal and had a nice evening at rehearsal and then wonderful pizza. It's always fun to watch a wedding being rehearsed, and this was even more fun, being as my daughter was in it. Poor thing - she was so scared. But her wonderful cousins took her under their wings and rearranged things to fit her comfort level. More on this in another post hopefully!

After rehearsal we went wedding gift shopping and back to the hotel to think constantly of this little boy.

3/26/2011 (Saturday)
Today, of course was busy right from the start. We went for a quick swim, showers, and off to the church. We had to be there at 10:00 am for Mei to get her hair done for pictures.

We spent the whole day at the church. The wedding was at 2:00, with a reception right after. It was a beautiful wedding.

Of course the whole day little Huai Qiang was on my mind. I wondered what his 'complication' was and how could I decide if I should send off the application to China, knowing that I wouldn't hear back from IAC until the application deadline (Sunday 8:00 MST) had passed.

Well Stefani had faith and she worked on the application. Although I didn't know it, she was busy getting everything ready, writing up what she needed to write up and even helping me out by up-dating my Nurture Plan for China with all the information needed for this little guy, and then making sure it was all translated.

At 4:50 pm I got an email from IAC! The wonderful doctor there told me she knew I had a deadline and she is working through the weekend. What a wonderful person!

Because he had more than one thing wrong with him she was concerned that it might be a syndrome. She said she researched this extensively and she did not find anything that would fit into a syndrome. His heart problem resolved and he will need casting and possibly surgery for his feet. He is growing well. I was so excited to hear this. I right away emailed Stefani and Heidi and asked them if they thought there was any reason why I shouldn't say yes.

Here are their responses.

Heidi: Not in my book.... :) But as the mama we look to you and will support your decision.... and all during a wedding weekend too!

Stefani: THIS IS GREAT NEWS!!!! I am so pleased. I was braced for some scary diagnosis. Phew. Judith is fantastic to be working on the weekend for the children. They must LOVE the China locking timeline too.

And so I was working towards a son.

3/27/2011 (Sunday)
It's winging its way to China!

I got the email below at 7:14 pm on Sunday, March 27 as I was just driving up to sister Darla's house to deliver two of her girls that had ridden home from the wedding up north with me.

From: Stefani
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 7:14 PM
Subject: Official application for HUAI QIANG has been submitted!

And it has been completed and sent! A huge congratulations! We are very happy at this moment.

Now we wait for the CCCWA to assess the application and issue a PA. It appears that the single applicant applications are all having to get a second approval from the committee so it is taking longer. We have been waiting a week for our first single applicant to finish the assessment process so it will likely be days before we hear anything. We will check every day and will let you know the minute we get the answer.

I know that you will be anxious until that comes although we don't anticipate any problems in your approval process. Its just always so nice to have something official.

Stefani
China Waiting Child Advocate/Resource Coordinator
Children’s House International

I responded with this message.

On 3/27/2011 6:30 PM, kh wrote:
Thank you so much for all you did to make this happen!

... and then got these two messages back.

From: Heidi
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 9:28 PM
Subject: Re: Official application for HUAI QIANG has been submitted!

CONGRATS on this giant leap!

...and

From: Stefani
Sun, 27 Mar 2011 19:23:48
Subject: Re: Official application for HUAI QIANG has been submitted!

You are so very welcome. We are tickled BLUE being able to help Huai Qiang become a son AND a little brother.

Stefani

3/29/2011 (Tuesday)
Today got an email from Stefani at CHI. Here it is.

From: Stefani
Sent: Tuesday, March 29, 2011 10:59 AM
Subject: Your application is being processed at the CCCWA

I am updating you to the status change of your application. It has gone from "submitted' to "assessing". Now we wait for "approved". We received our very first PA for a single applicant this morning. Her application was submitted and in the assessing stage for 8 days. So this will likely be the timeline we see for your case as well.

We are so happy for this opportunity to work with you and single applicants again! And see little BOYS coming home. Do you have a name picked out for Huai Qiang yet?

Stefani
China Waiting Child Advocate/Resource Coordinator
Children's House International

...and here was my response back.

From: Kristin
Sent: Tuesday, March 29, 2011 11:05 AM
Subject: RE: Your application is being processed at the CCCWA
How exciting! Thanks for the update! That puts a big smile on my face. :)

I do not have a name picked out yet. Can you tell me how to pronounce Huai Qiang's name?

Kristin

Child in China?

Here I started this journey thinking that I had a baby in Bulgaria.  No, my baby wasn't there.  I just had to start my journey there to get to where I needed to be at the right time. 

Over the weekend I got a letter stating that my one set of prints (the AW prints) had rejected due to being unclear.  So, yesterday I went to the local police station and redid those and mailed them off.  I hope they go this time. 

I am blogging more behind the scenes and will post as soon as I'm able.

News

Wow, do I have news.  Wow! Do I have news!  I can't wait til I can tell you about it here!

Waiting...

... and praying.

Have I Switched to the China Program!

Edited to correct my 'Dear CCAA' letter.  I missed  a paragraph when I copied it in originally.

Thursday and Friday I rushed through getting a list of documents filled out, written up, and notarized so that I could be ready to accept and lock a child's file if one came up. 

Actually I rushed through all this paperwork for a specific little boy.  He has a heart condition, but as I had his file reviewed by the international adoption clinic here in state, and learned more and more about his condition I agonized over whether I could accept his file and lock him to adopt him.  I prayed and researched and finally this morning I told CHI that with a very heavy heart I have to say I cannot lock this child.  Tonight I looked him up and I see that he has been locked.  I am happy for him that he will have a family to bring him home and help heal his heart as well as it can be healed.  He was so cute and looked like quite the little stinker.

The list of items I needed to compile is listed here and I had to get them ready as quickly as I could as they need to be translated into Chinese in order to lock the file so that no one else can claim the child.

  1. Previous home study
  2. Medical form filled out and notarized by my doctor (saw the doctor on Friday for this)
  3. Passport sized photo (I can get them taken for free at work)
  4. Family photo (see our family:)
  5. Nurture plan (Letter of Intent (LOI) and Dear CCAA Letter-both explained in more detail below)
  6. Financial statement of Net worth - notarized

They were very impressed with how fast I got these together.  I am very lucky in that our work place has notaries in various areas in the building and I just happen to work with one of them.  This same wonderful lady that is notarizing my documents for this adoption notarized all my documents for Bee. 

I got through all of these documents and got them to CHI.  So even though I did not lock that sweet child's file I am ready for the next one.  There is one document I have to change a few things to be specific to a child, but other than that I am ready and can quickly lock in a file for a child if one comes up that is within parameters that are comfortable for me.

It seems so crass and cruel to talk about things like parameters, and locking a file, and comfortable...  But as I agonized, I emailed the two wonderful ladies at CHI apologizing for asking so many questions and taking time to think and research.  One of them emailed back and said (paraphrasing), "Don't apologize. You are asking wonderful questions.  We promised you when you started that we would be here with you as you make this journey.  You are crossing a bridge that will make that child YOURS forever, and only you will know if you should be the mother to that child." 

I know that I could be a mama to these children, how could I not love them-any one of them?  I've fallen in love with many of them in this last week since I've known that I again have the option of adopting from China.  But knowing that I have to work-realistically would I have the time to be able to care for a child with more major special needs?  If I adopt a child then I have to know that what I can give is fair and healthy for that child. 

Here is the 'Dear CCAA' letter that I wrote.  When (if) I am so blessed with a child from China then I will post the LOI for that specific child as a separate post.

March 18, 2011

Dear China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA):

I, xxx born xxx in xxx, USA, deeply desire to adopt another child from the People’s Republic of China.

I had a dream for many years to adopt children from China. I always had a special respect for China and really felt that was where my children were. My dream was partially realized in 2002 when I was honored by being allowed to adopt my oldest daughter from China. I was greatly honored a second time in 2005 when I was able to adopt another daughter, a precious little sister. Now I dream that I would be so blessed to adopt a son, a little brother for my daughters. I would like to be considered to adopt a boy with a special need.

I  promise I will love this child as if he were my biological son.  I will provide him with every opportunity to develop his talents and complete an education. I will continue to learn about China and will take great pleasure in helping this child learn of and appreciate Chinese culture and give him opportunities to connect with his Chinese heritage.  I will provide for all his physical and emotional needs and will raise this child with all the rights of a birth child.  I will ensure that this child will be properly raised and will ensure that he will have the best medical care so that he can grow healthy.  I will cherish and love this child as if he were born of me.  I promise that I will never harm or abuse him nor allow him to be harmed or abused.  I also promise never to abandon him and to care for him throughout his life as my child.

Further, I promise to complete timely post adoption reports with pictures at both six months and twelve months as required by the CCAA.

I look forward to finding my son and truly appreciate your help. Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to take this journey to become a family.

Sincerely and with the greatest respect,
xxxx

I think I've switched to the China program - what do you think?  :)

Wow!

My head is spinning today!  :)

Fingerprinted

Today I went to the local police department to be fingerprinted.   I got 2 of the 3 sets I will need.  So tomorrow I can send that information off.  When they were done and I asked if there was a fee the officer told me that they don't charge a fee if the fingerprints are for adoption.  That was nice.

I talked for quite awhile with Heidi at CHI about the China program and whether or not I might qualify.  She says that there are hundreds of boys waiting to be adopted.  I really want to stay on the younger end and don't feel that I can take on a severe special need in a child right now.  But I'm totally open to adopting a boy.  :)  She told me that I could stay in both countries right now as I'm working on my initial paperwork. Then Nina, the Bulgaria advocate and Stephani, the China special need advocate could both search for a match for me, and whichever found my match I would go that route.

ok - That's news for today.

Finally...another post

Wow!  Life got busy!  Well, it's always busy, but it got really busy. 

I was busy, busy, busy with working hard to get as much of my adoption paperwork to CHSFS before quarter-end started at work because I knew then I wouldn't get to do anything for several weeks.  Well I did, I got everything in that I needed to so that they could start looking things over in order to do the actual homestudy.  They then sent me a packet back with some additional paperwork and an updated fee schedule.  I almost fell over backward when I saw it.  They wanted $8,300 (or was it $8,400) for just the homestudy!  I called them real quick and they apologized profusely and said that it should just be $5,900!  Well, that wasn't much better.  I was expecting what their website quoted - $1,400. Well, I had to make the agonizing decision to lose weeks of work and withdraw my application (knowing also that I would lose my $500 application fee). They did refund me half of that.  But I just couldn't justify working with them when I could save well over $2,000 working with another agency.

So I started from the beginning again.  Being the researcher I am I researched as many homestudy agencies as I could as quickly as I could and finally decided on International Adoption Services (IAS) as the agency to do my homestudy.  I sent in my application to them.  Just to be clear, these applications are not just a 'send me your name and address' application.  They are pages and pages of information.  They want to know everything about you to find out if they think that they can work with you or not.  Well, they accepted me and sent me a packet of paperwork.  By this time it was quarter-end at work so that packet had to sit for over a week, while I put in over 90 hours that week at work.  That was hard to think of that packet sitting and not getting filled out.  Finally, I made it through my hard week at work

This past week I was busy reading the book "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew," by Sherrie Eldridge and doing homework questions for a class I attended at IAS tonight.  When I got that done I finally got to start the paperwork again.  Yay!  Friday and over the weekend, I got through much of  the preliminary paperwork that they've sent me so far.  Tomorrow I will go and have 2 (of 3) of my sets of fingerprints done.  I still have to make a doctor appointment for myself so my doctor can send IAS information on my health. 

As I said, I attended a class at IAS tonight for preparation and training.  This is to prepare a parent for the different types of things to expect in an adoption, such as challenges after placement, medical issues, grief and loss, attachment and bonding, etc.  Well, I am a researcher and I have two internationally adopted children and I truly have done hundreds and hundreds of hours of reading and research on all of this stuff.  Not to mention I have lived it.  Well, she was very impressed with how well I am prepared and told me before the end that I should be teaching the class.  She was not being sarcastic, either. 

In between all of this Nina, at CHI has sent me several files of adorable children that are available for adoption in Bulgaria.  I am falling in love with each child she sends, but just getting the feeling that each one is not the one.  Mei is, of course, looking at the children too.  And when she heard that we would not be adopting from China was very concerned.  She is very conscious of how she looks, and feels like she looks 'different.'  She said that we have to adopt from China or they won't have a flat nose like me and Bee.  She wants the child to 'not feel different from her and her sister' :) We were just looking at a file for a little girl from Bulgaria and she kept saying she is cute, but her skin is white!  We were trying to explain to her that the child would look like us, and she said that no they have to look like her and Bee or they will feel different.  It has been hard explaining to her that we can't adopt from China, because China right now is not open for us to adopt from.  Of course she doesn't understand that.

Well, to end this for today. 

This morning I got an email that announced that as of March 15, 2011 ...

***China is opening up once again for singles!*** 

This is only certain special needs children, but they are opening up again.  I right away emailed CHI to ask if it is a viable option for me to switch to the China program.  We will see what happens.

Is it really real?

Today it feels real.  Really real!  Today I sent off the first half of the agency fee.  I won't mention an amount here because I don't want people to think that this is about money.  I think about an adoption as the way I have been blessed with my children.  But to be realistic, you do have to have a good amount of available cash in order to adopt.  And this fee was large enough that if you commit to sending this fee, you have committed to working with this agency to bring your child home. 

Now I think about you, my child and dream, and wonder.  Where are you my little one?  What are you doing right now?  How old are you?  I don't even know yet if you are a boy or girl.  I do know that you are in my heart and that I long for you to be in my arms.  I don't even know you yet, but my heart already overflows with love for you.  May God watch over you while we wait to meet.

I also think of  another mother, a mother we will always talk with you about, your birth mother.  Is she holding you in her arms right now, knowing that she can't keep you?  Is she longing for you too because you are no longer with her?  I don't know, we may never know. But I do know that I will always be thankful that she gave birth to you, precious one, so that you could join our family.

... and another step!

Wow!  I did it!  I finished another application packet.  This time for CHSFS.  It will be in the mail tomorrow!  I'm just moving right along. 

I also got my welcome email from CHI today.

• "Welcome to Children's House International!  Your application has been received and your file has been opened." 

What a great feeling!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I got an email from CHI that they received my application today and that they will be sending me my official welcome letter tomorrow!  Yay!  What a great Valentine's Day gift!

I worked really hard on my home study application this weekend and got it almost all filled out.  There are a couple more things I need to figure out.  Like exactly where I lived and when I lived there since I turned 18!  I figured out the where I lived part.  Now I need to figure out the years I lived in those places. 

I was going to write a bit on Chinese New Year, but I think I will do that tomorrow.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Adoption Study

Today I received a packet from CHSFS.  The packet contained lots of paperwork to fill out to get me started on my adoption study (home study).  There are lots of forms to fill out for general information, educational information, work information, health information, family information, background checks, every place I've lived since I was 18, and so on.   There are also forms to drop off at the doctors offices, and reference letter forms for me to send out to have people write reference letters for me.  The list goes on. 

I'm so happy I received it today so I could get it all filled out over the weekend and into the mail and back to them on Monday, hopefully.

One more step closer.

One More Baby Step

One more tiny step.  Today I ordered my raised stamp certified birth certificates.  That's one more thing I can cross off my list of things I need.

Baby, Here I Come!

Now I have really officially started.  Today I sent off the application to the adoption agency I am using. There were also a couple of other forms that I sent along with it, so the first paperwork is off. And along with the paperwork, most important, I sent the application fee.

I sent the 'Family Information' form to Children's Home Society & Family Services a couple days ago. This is the first basic information so that they can start the home study. This is the same agency I used for Mei and Bee so they are familiar with me and I'm hoping this process goes quickly.

The adoption agency I'm using, Children's House International (CHI), is in Washington state.  At first I was a little nervous thinking about using an agency that is out of state.  Many people do it though, so I know it will be fine.  It's so easy to do things via email or internet these days. 

So we're off!  Baby, here I come!

Baby in Bulgaria?

Wow!  Again?  I can hardly believe it.  And I really can't believe it yet- can it really happen?  I will be racing through paperwork as fast and furious as I can in the next months.  And God willing I will be flying to Bulgaria one day soon to meet my baby. 

Not two months ago we were talking to neighbors outside and I said that I'm sure we won't be adopting again.  I would love to, but the girls are getting older and 'easier' in a way now.  And where would we get the money?  You hate to think of the money aspect, but it's a fact - if you adopt, you have to have access to a substantial amount of ready cash.

All of a sudden not two weeks ago I was hit hard with the feeling that I have to adopt again.  There's someone waiting for me somewhere.  My heart just ached with the longing for someone I don't know yet.  I received an email about a little boy who was waiting for a family.  He was adorable, but he was not to be mine.  I started researching.  I've researched every country that adopts children out and I've researched every agency that adopts children out of those countries.  Every country I looked at I kept coming back to Bulgaria.  So Bulgaria it is, I believe.

I was a little scared to think about my age and what would people think!  I wanted my family especially to support me in it and be excited about it.  I started asking my sisters, and every one of them was so excited and supportive.  It's not like they have to support me in it, but if they say yes go for it, it is a lot easier for me to be excited about it.  I'm sure there will be people that say, "What are you thinking!", but I know that's ok.  To be honest, I did fight it a bit.  I'm too old.  Is it fair to the child? Where will I get the money?  But it is a true ache in my heart and I can't help but believe that feeling was put there by God.  I can't not go forward. 

While I was driving down the road one day it hit me that I have the money.  From my first job when I moved to the cities, I have an IRA (my old 401K) from that company that has just been sitting in an account.  For many years I have said many times I need to move that over and into my current 401K.  But something always held me back.  My lack of motivation?  :)  I truly don't think so.  When I thought of that money it felt so much like God telling me, "You have the money.  Take it and find your child."  Crazy?  I don't know.  That might not cover it totally, but it will be pretty close. 

Today I officially started.  I filled out the application and will be emailing it off to the adoption agency tomorrow.   The agency I've used in the past did not have a Bulgaria program so I had to find another agency.  The agency I chose is out of state, and your homestudy has to be done in state.  So I will use my prior used agency to do the homestudy.  I will also be sending off the application for them to start my homestudy.

We don't know yet if it will be a boy or a girl.  We're totally open to either.  Most likely it will also be a child with a special need.  I am open to several different special needs, but I think not a major need. I chose to go this route because it will be much quicker.  And whatever child is already my chosen child is perfect in every way already.

And now I have peace in my heart.