We have a Son and Brother!

I am so proud, pleased, and excited to introduce you to our son and brother - Huai Qiang!

Today I was shocked to arrive at work and see this email.

From: Stefani
Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2011 9:26 PM
Subject: Fwd: Hillukka family has PA~!~~

We can't be more thrilled. Kristin, you have a officially been issued your PA and you can breathe easier. What a wonderful, wonderful day!
Stefani
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Hillukka family has PA~!~~
Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2011 19:18:37 -0700
To: Stefani
Information System->Special Nedd MIS->Application->Application Status Review

通 知
国 际儿童之家收养组织:
你 们递交的Kristin xxxx收养江苏(省、市、自治区)淮安市社会福利院儿童淮强的申请已收到，经过对该家庭的基本情况及其为该儿童制定的医疗康复及抚育计划的审 核，中国收养中心同意在该申请文件到达（截止日期2011年10月01 日，含当日）后，按照收养特殊需要儿童的程序处理，特此告知。

中 国收养中心

2011 年03月31日

March 31,2011
CHILDREN'S HOUSE INTERNATIONAL:
The application of Kristin xxx for adoption of HUAI QIANG from Huaian Social Welfare Institute, Jiangsu Welfare Institute of Jiangsu province that you submitted was received. It is hereby advised that with a review of the basic family situation and the Rehabilitation and Nurture Plan for the Child made by the family, the China Centre of Adoption Affairs agrees to handle and process the case as an adoption of a special-need child after the application file arrives (deadline October 01,2011, that day inclusive).

China Centre of Adoption Affairs

Wow! I have received PA (pre-approval)! I was told to expect to wait at least 8 days and I received it in 3 days! I think Huai Qiang wants to come home.
What does this mean? It means that the application along with all the documents we worked so hard on were received by China. China reviewed them and has seen us to be a fit family to bring this precious child home.

My goodness, but it's been a whirlwind of activity since Thursday evening.
If you continue reading you will see my blogging behind the scenes until I could post this publically - the exciting day of being able to introduce my son!

*********************

3/24/2011 (Thursday)
On Monday evening China released some new files for children with special needs. Stefani had asked me if I want her to watch for any files that come through matching the needs that I had specified. I said yes, so she watched as they came in and saw several files that she thought I might be interested in. There was one little boy in particular that she thought I might be interested in, with CHD and clubbed feet. She said she just got a glimpse of his file and someone locked him. She told me that when they are locked the family has 72 hours to get the paperwork done (that I've talked about in a prior post) and the application submitted to China or the file unlocks, giving someone else a chance at the file.
Today Stefani asked me if I want her to watch for this file and should she lock it if she saw it. Well I had a file of another adorable little boy that I was reviewing at the International Adoption Clinic (IAC) and was waiting to hear back on him and didn't want to lock the new file until I heard back.

I emailed the IAC and told them the dilemma and they said there are 6 families ahead of me to have files reviewed and I wouldn't hear anything back til Friday evening at the earliest. I was torn. If I lock the file this evening that may come, then he's locked to me for 72 hours and I can't lock this one I have in review if I get a good optimistic review from IAC. If the file unlocks that we are waiting for and we don't lock it right away, someone else most likely will lock it and I lose him. We emailed back and forth all day - CHI and I. What to do!?

At 6:40 pm I heard back from the IAC and they did a mini review of the other little guy because they knew I was waiting for a new file to open! I won't go into detail, but they told me that they were very concerned with his long term outcome in life. Sadly I told CHI that I feel he is not a good match for me.

At 7:15 pm Stefani and I decided that she would lock the other file if she sees it.

At 8:14 pm I received the following email.

From: Stefani
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 10:14 PM
Subject: LOCKED Haui Qiang M dob 2 10 09 resolved PDA equinovarus

We were able to get the little boy we wished would come back! His report describes him as SO VERY SWEET and loving, but also shy. He is handsome boy and his file is now locked for Kristin. We have until 8 pm MST on Sunday 3/27 to submit the official application.

Please review and let us know how you are feeling. The great news is that the PDA resolved on its own without surgery! He is also waiting for surgery on his feet.

And he is wearing the very same sweater that my Ammon came home in. Thus he has a very special tug at my heart.

Stefani

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Haui Qiang M dob 2 10 09 resolved PDA equinovarus
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2011 20:09:15 -0700

Here is some chatter that went back and forth after that.

From: Heidi
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 10:21 PM
Subject: RE: LOCKED Haui Qiang M dob 2 10 09 resolved PDA equinovarus

Good work Stefani...

Kirstin it looks like you've got more than a wedding to attend to this weekend.  Please let us know what your thoughts are- deep breath we're here if you need us!

Heidi
China International Specialist
*********************************
From: Kristin
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 10:25 PM
Subject: Re: LOCKED Haui Qiang M dob 2 10 09 resolved PDA equinovarus
Oh, my! :)
*********************************
On 3/24/2011 9:55 PM, 'kh' wrote:
Thank you Stefani! I read through his file quick. I am going to send it off to the IAC and read some more, and of course gaze at the pictures:) He is handsome!
*********************************
From: Stefani
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 11:01 PM
Subject: Re: LOCKED Haui Qiang M dob 2 10 09 resolved PDA equinovarus

What a weekend you have coming! He is so very handsome and seems like a little teddy bear. I love how he shares his food because that is something that is usually in short supply. But then, he doesn't look like he has lacked much in food. He's looking pretty robust!

I sent his file to the IAC at 11:14 pm that evening to be reviewed and told them I didn't need it til Sunday afternoon.

And then I sat and studied and read through his file and gazed at his pictures.

3/25/2011 (Friday)
This morning I had to go to a root canal specialist as I had an abscessed tooth. What a pain! We left up north a bit after noon to make it to the rehearsal for Dawn's wedding.

At 2:20 I heard from IAC the following:

From: IAC
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2011 2:20 PM
Subject: Latest Referral

Hi Kristin,

I’ve spoken with Dr. Kang re: your recent referral. Unfortunately, the referral is somewhat complicated. As you know, we are closed on the weekend so the earliest response will be next week. We would be very grateful and accepting of any future donation for your recent referrals. I wish I could give you better news at this point in time.
Best as always,
Kristi
International Adoption Clinic
University of Minnesota

Great! Yes, I understand that they are sooo busy with such important work, but right at this moment that doesn't make me feel a whole lot better. I emailed back to see if they could tell me whether it was just his feet that were complicated or if it was something else. I felt like if it was just his feet it was ok, but if it was something else I wasn't so sure. I didn't hear back from them. So I email Stefani and tell her this. She asked me the same thing, if it was more than his feet.

By this time it was rehearsal time so off we went to rehearsal and had a nice evening at rehearsal and then wonderful pizza. It's always fun to watch a wedding being rehearsed, and this was even more fun, being as my daughter was in it. Poor thing - she was so scared. But her wonderful cousins took her under their wings and rearranged things to fit her comfort level. More on this in another post hopefully!

After rehearsal we went wedding gift shopping and back to the hotel to think constantly of this little boy.

3/26/2011 (Saturday)
Today, of course was busy right from the start. We went for a quick swim, showers, and off to the church. We had to be there at 10:00 am for Mei to get her hair done for pictures.

We spent the whole day at the church. The wedding was at 2:00, with a reception right after. It was a beautiful wedding.

Of course the whole day little Huai Qiang was on my mind. I wondered what his 'complication' was and how could I decide if I should send off the application to China, knowing that I wouldn't hear back from IAC until the application deadline (Sunday 8:00 MST) had passed.

Well Stefani had faith and she worked on the application. Although I didn't know it, she was busy getting everything ready, writing up what she needed to write up and even helping me out by up-dating my Nurture Plan for China with all the information needed for this little guy, and then making sure it was all translated.

At 4:50 pm I got an email from IAC! The wonderful doctor there told me she knew I had a deadline and she is working through the weekend. What a wonderful person!

Because he had more than one thing wrong with him she was concerned that it might be a syndrome. She said she researched this extensively and she did not find anything that would fit into a syndrome. His heart problem resolved and he will need casting and possibly surgery for his feet. He is growing well. I was so excited to hear this. I right away emailed Stefani and Heidi and asked them if they thought there was any reason why I shouldn't say yes.

Here are their responses.

Heidi: Not in my book.... :) But as the mama we look to you and will support your decision.... and all during a wedding weekend too!

Stefani: THIS IS GREAT NEWS!!!! I am so pleased. I was braced for some scary diagnosis. Phew. Judith is fantastic to be working on the weekend for the children. They must LOVE the China locking timeline too.

And so I was working towards a son.

3/27/2011 (Sunday)
It's winging its way to China!

I got the email below at 7:14 pm on Sunday, March 27 as I was just driving up to sister Darla's house to deliver two of her girls that had ridden home from the wedding up north with me.

From: Stefani
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 7:14 PM
Subject: Official application for HUAI QIANG has been submitted!

And it has been completed and sent! A huge congratulations! We are very happy at this moment.

Now we wait for the CCCWA to assess the application and issue a PA. It appears that the single applicant applications are all having to get a second approval from the committee so it is taking longer. We have been waiting a week for our first single applicant to finish the assessment process so it will likely be days before we hear anything. We will check every day and will let you know the minute we get the answer.

I know that you will be anxious until that comes although we don't anticipate any problems in your approval process. Its just always so nice to have something official.

Stefani
China Waiting Child Advocate/Resource Coordinator
Children’s House International

I responded with this message.

On 3/27/2011 6:30 PM, kh wrote:
Thank you so much for all you did to make this happen!

... and then got these two messages back.

From: Heidi
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 9:28 PM
Subject: Re: Official application for HUAI QIANG has been submitted!

CONGRATS on this giant leap!

...and

From: Stefani
Sun, 27 Mar 2011 19:23:48
Subject: Re: Official application for HUAI QIANG has been submitted!

You are so very welcome. We are tickled BLUE being able to help Huai Qiang become a son AND a little brother.

Stefani

3/29/2011 (Tuesday)
Today got an email from Stefani at CHI. Here it is.

From: Stefani
Sent: Tuesday, March 29, 2011 10:59 AM
Subject: Your application is being processed at the CCCWA

I am updating you to the status change of your application. It has gone from "submitted' to "assessing". Now we wait for "approved". We received our very first PA for a single applicant this morning. Her application was submitted and in the assessing stage for 8 days. So this will likely be the timeline we see for your case as well.

We are so happy for this opportunity to work with you and single applicants again! And see little BOYS coming home. Do you have a name picked out for Huai Qiang yet?

Stefani
China Waiting Child Advocate/Resource Coordinator
Children's House International

...and here was my response back.

From: Kristin
Sent: Tuesday, March 29, 2011 11:05 AM
Subject: RE: Your application is being processed at the CCCWA
How exciting! Thanks for the update! That puts a big smile on my face. :)

I do not have a name picked out yet. Can you tell me how to pronounce Huai Qiang's name?

Kristin

Child in China?

Here I started this journey thinking that I had a baby in Bulgaria.  No, my baby wasn't there.  I just had to start my journey there to get to where I needed to be at the right time. 

Over the weekend I got a letter stating that my one set of prints (the AW prints) had rejected due to being unclear.  So, yesterday I went to the local police station and redid those and mailed them off.  I hope they go this time. 

I am blogging more behind the scenes and will post as soon as I'm able.

News

Wow, do I have news.  Wow! Do I have news!  I can't wait til I can tell you about it here!

Waiting...

... and praying.

Have I Switched to the China Program!

Edited to correct my 'Dear CCAA' letter.  I missed  a paragraph when I copied it in originally.

Thursday and Friday I rushed through getting a list of documents filled out, written up, and notarized so that I could be ready to accept and lock a child's file if one came up. 

Actually I rushed through all this paperwork for a specific little boy.  He has a heart condition, but as I had his file reviewed by the international adoption clinic here in state, and learned more and more about his condition I agonized over whether I could accept his file and lock him to adopt him.  I prayed and researched and finally this morning I told CHI that with a very heavy heart I have to say I cannot lock this child.  Tonight I looked him up and I see that he has been locked.  I am happy for him that he will have a family to bring him home and help heal his heart as well as it can be healed.  He was so cute and looked like quite the little stinker.

The list of items I needed to compile is listed here and I had to get them ready as quickly as I could as they need to be translated into Chinese in order to lock the file so that no one else can claim the child.

  1. Previous home study
  2. Medical form filled out and notarized by my doctor (saw the doctor on Friday for this)
  3. Passport sized photo (I can get them taken for free at work)
  4. Family photo (see our family:)
  5. Nurture plan (Letter of Intent (LOI) and Dear CCAA Letter-both explained in more detail below)
  6. Financial statement of Net worth - notarized

They were very impressed with how fast I got these together.  I am very lucky in that our work place has notaries in various areas in the building and I just happen to work with one of them.  This same wonderful lady that is notarizing my documents for this adoption notarized all my documents for Bee. 

I got through all of these documents and got them to CHI.  So even though I did not lock that sweet child's file I am ready for the next one.  There is one document I have to change a few things to be specific to a child, but other than that I am ready and can quickly lock in a file for a child if one comes up that is within parameters that are comfortable for me.

It seems so crass and cruel to talk about things like parameters, and locking a file, and comfortable...  But as I agonized, I emailed the two wonderful ladies at CHI apologizing for asking so many questions and taking time to think and research.  One of them emailed back and said (paraphrasing), "Don't apologize. You are asking wonderful questions.  We promised you when you started that we would be here with you as you make this journey.  You are crossing a bridge that will make that child YOURS forever, and only you will know if you should be the mother to that child." 

I know that I could be a mama to these children, how could I not love them-any one of them?  I've fallen in love with many of them in this last week since I've known that I again have the option of adopting from China.  But knowing that I have to work-realistically would I have the time to be able to care for a child with more major special needs?  If I adopt a child then I have to know that what I can give is fair and healthy for that child. 

Here is the 'Dear CCAA' letter that I wrote.  When (if) I am so blessed with a child from China then I will post the LOI for that specific child as a separate post.

March 18, 2011

Dear China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA):

I, xxx born xxx in xxx, USA, deeply desire to adopt another child from the People’s Republic of China.

I had a dream for many years to adopt children from China. I always had a special respect for China and really felt that was where my children were. My dream was partially realized in 2002 when I was honored by being allowed to adopt my oldest daughter from China. I was greatly honored a second time in 2005 when I was able to adopt another daughter, a precious little sister. Now I dream that I would be so blessed to adopt a son, a little brother for my daughters. I would like to be considered to adopt a boy with a special need.

I  promise I will love this child as if he were my biological son.  I will provide him with every opportunity to develop his talents and complete an education. I will continue to learn about China and will take great pleasure in helping this child learn of and appreciate Chinese culture and give him opportunities to connect with his Chinese heritage.  I will provide for all his physical and emotional needs and will raise this child with all the rights of a birth child.  I will ensure that this child will be properly raised and will ensure that he will have the best medical care so that he can grow healthy.  I will cherish and love this child as if he were born of me.  I promise that I will never harm or abuse him nor allow him to be harmed or abused.  I also promise never to abandon him and to care for him throughout his life as my child.

Further, I promise to complete timely post adoption reports with pictures at both six months and twelve months as required by the CCAA.

I look forward to finding my son and truly appreciate your help. Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to take this journey to become a family.

Sincerely and with the greatest respect,
xxxx

I think I've switched to the China program - what do you think?  :)

Wow!

My head is spinning today!  :)

Fingerprinted

Today I went to the local police department to be fingerprinted.   I got 2 of the 3 sets I will need.  So tomorrow I can send that information off.  When they were done and I asked if there was a fee the officer told me that they don't charge a fee if the fingerprints are for adoption.  That was nice.

I talked for quite awhile with Heidi at CHI about the China program and whether or not I might qualify.  She says that there are hundreds of boys waiting to be adopted.  I really want to stay on the younger end and don't feel that I can take on a severe special need in a child right now.  But I'm totally open to adopting a boy.  :)  She told me that I could stay in both countries right now as I'm working on my initial paperwork. Then Nina, the Bulgaria advocate and Stephani, the China special need advocate could both search for a match for me, and whichever found my match I would go that route.

ok - That's news for today.

Finally...another post

Wow!  Life got busy!  Well, it's always busy, but it got really busy. 

I was busy, busy, busy with working hard to get as much of my adoption paperwork to CHSFS before quarter-end started at work because I knew then I wouldn't get to do anything for several weeks.  Well I did, I got everything in that I needed to so that they could start looking things over in order to do the actual homestudy.  They then sent me a packet back with some additional paperwork and an updated fee schedule.  I almost fell over backward when I saw it.  They wanted $8,300 (or was it $8,400) for just the homestudy!  I called them real quick and they apologized profusely and said that it should just be $5,900!  Well, that wasn't much better.  I was expecting what their website quoted - $1,400. Well, I had to make the agonizing decision to lose weeks of work and withdraw my application (knowing also that I would lose my $500 application fee). They did refund me half of that.  But I just couldn't justify working with them when I could save well over $2,000 working with another agency.

So I started from the beginning again.  Being the researcher I am I researched as many homestudy agencies as I could as quickly as I could and finally decided on International Adoption Services (IAS) as the agency to do my homestudy.  I sent in my application to them.  Just to be clear, these applications are not just a 'send me your name and address' application.  They are pages and pages of information.  They want to know everything about you to find out if they think that they can work with you or not.  Well, they accepted me and sent me a packet of paperwork.  By this time it was quarter-end at work so that packet had to sit for over a week, while I put in over 90 hours that week at work.  That was hard to think of that packet sitting and not getting filled out.  Finally, I made it through my hard week at work

This past week I was busy reading the book "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew," by Sherrie Eldridge and doing homework questions for a class I attended at IAS tonight.  When I got that done I finally got to start the paperwork again.  Yay!  Friday and over the weekend, I got through much of  the preliminary paperwork that they've sent me so far.  Tomorrow I will go and have 2 (of 3) of my sets of fingerprints done.  I still have to make a doctor appointment for myself so my doctor can send IAS information on my health. 

As I said, I attended a class at IAS tonight for preparation and training.  This is to prepare a parent for the different types of things to expect in an adoption, such as challenges after placement, medical issues, grief and loss, attachment and bonding, etc.  Well, I am a researcher and I have two internationally adopted children and I truly have done hundreds and hundreds of hours of reading and research on all of this stuff.  Not to mention I have lived it.  Well, she was very impressed with how well I am prepared and told me before the end that I should be teaching the class.  She was not being sarcastic, either. 

In between all of this Nina, at CHI has sent me several files of adorable children that are available for adoption in Bulgaria.  I am falling in love with each child she sends, but just getting the feeling that each one is not the one.  Mei is, of course, looking at the children too.  And when she heard that we would not be adopting from China was very concerned.  She is very conscious of how she looks, and feels like she looks 'different.'  She said that we have to adopt from China or they won't have a flat nose like me and Bee.  She wants the child to 'not feel different from her and her sister' :) We were just looking at a file for a little girl from Bulgaria and she kept saying she is cute, but her skin is white!  We were trying to explain to her that the child would look like us, and she said that no they have to look like her and Bee or they will feel different.  It has been hard explaining to her that we can't adopt from China, because China right now is not open for us to adopt from.  Of course she doesn't understand that.

Well, to end this for today. 

This morning I got an email that announced that as of March 15, 2011 ...

***China is opening up once again for singles!*** 

This is only certain special needs children, but they are opening up again.  I right away emailed CHI to ask if it is a viable option for me to switch to the China program.  We will see what happens.