Is it really real?

Today it feels real.  Really real!  Today I sent off the first half of the agency fee.  I won't mention an amount here because I don't want people to think that this is about money.  I think about an adoption as the way I have been blessed with my children.  But to be realistic, you do have to have a good amount of available cash in order to adopt.  And this fee was large enough that if you commit to sending this fee, you have committed to working with this agency to bring your child home. 

Now I think about you, my child and dream, and wonder.  Where are you my little one?  What are you doing right now?  How old are you?  I don't even know yet if you are a boy or girl.  I do know that you are in my heart and that I long for you to be in my arms.  I don't even know you yet, but my heart already overflows with love for you.  May God watch over you while we wait to meet.

I also think of  another mother, a mother we will always talk with you about, your birth mother.  Is she holding you in her arms right now, knowing that she can't keep you?  Is she longing for you too because you are no longer with her?  I don't know, we may never know. But I do know that I will always be thankful that she gave birth to you, precious one, so that you could join our family.