Interesting evening

I have been concerned for some time about Meikiina's anxiety level. I just want to cry for her she is so anxious at times. We met with a therapist at the 'Family Attachment and Counseling Center' in Deephaven some months back to see if she thought we would benefit from us coming there with Meikiina. She sent a packet of paperwork and I filled it out and sent it back. She suggested that we do a 2 week 'intensive therapy' session where we all work together and they work with Meikiina to see what they come up with to try help her. Last night we started our 2 week long 'intensive' for Meikiina.

Our first activity of the evening Gregg, Meikiina, and I were in a room where they could see us by video. Gregg and I knew we were being taped (and watched), but Meikiina did not. We were given activity cards where the care givers read the cards and then we did the activity. Some of the activities were - caregiver read a book to child, caregiver build a simple structure with legos and child copy the structure, caregiver lotion child and child lotion caregiver, play thumb wrestling, caregiver draw a picture and child copy it, caregiver feed a snack to child and child feed a snack to caregiver, caregiver teach something new to child. When the lead therapist, Melissa, came to get us she asked Meikiina what she thought was Gregg's favorite activity and what mine was. She picked correctly. And we also guessed what we thought Meikiina's favorite activity was.

When we were done with the activities Melissa took Gregg and me into a room and Meikiina went into another room with a play therapist. Melissa went over the report she had done up from the paperwork I had done before we started the program. They were looking for things like reactive attachment disorder (RAD), anxiety, depression and other things. The only thing she tested 'clinical' in was anxiety. She tested high in both internalizing her anxiety and externalizing her anxiety. She didn't test high enough in anything else that they could even get approved (by insurance?) to work with her. So they will be working to see what they can do to help her with her anxiety. What Gregg taught her in the activity (mentioned above) was what squared means. She picked it up really quickly. Melissa said they had picked up watching her that she could be a perfectionist, and that she is quite smart (quick). She couldn't believe that she could pick up the concept of squared that quickly. One of the reasons I'm so concerned about her is that I've thought that she is quite smart, but she struggles so sooooo hard in school, especially with math and reading. When I'm with her in the classroom I can see and feel the anxiety in her. It's like she can't process things in school. Since she started school and has been doing spelling tests, she has only gotten about 5 to 7 words wrong on all the tests she's taken in 3 years. But she struggles in school to read out loud. Melissa agrees that there's something that doesn't make sense. Also, every report we get from school, says she is so good, polite, works hard, compassionate, friendly. Then when she comes home from school it all wants to come out. There are days she rages! She works really really hard to do everything right and do what she needs to do in school and then it needs to come out.

In play therapy they watch her play and can figure out lots of things by how she plays and what she plays with. She really enjoyed this too, playing with Jessica. Melissa said Jessica is especially good in picking out trouble spots in a child.

Melissa, the therapist, says that the school must be made to understand how different learning is for Meikiina in school vs. in a home or relaxed environment. She is going to let Meikiina get real comfortable with the play therapist and then will have her do an IQ test on her. She says these aren't always accurate, but she's hoping she can then use it as a tool to help Meikiina in the school setting.

The last thing we did was a narrative therapy session. I held Meikiina while I told her what I would have done with her and for her if she had been my baby from the very beginning. While I was holding her she also was doing EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). She holds these tube things in her hands. They buzz in her hands at alternating times - one buzzes and then the other one buzzes.

I won't talk too much about what we will be doing. I will try to keep updated here as we are going through the sessions.